My name is Anjali Arnold and the first question I love to pose to anyone new is, “What do you love? What makes you tick?” When someone asks me, “What do you do?” I admit that question is simply too complicated to answer easily because so much of the way the first half of my life went in”doing” seems irrelevant with who I truly am.
If you would ask me instead, “What do you love?” I say, “All of it,” then I go on to describe myself as an Artist of Life because that’s who I reinvented myself to be – someone who recognizes and has integrated all facets of life as necessary to reveal the miracle of ourselves and make a difference in the world here and now. Yep, I use ALL the colors on the palette of life to help humanity grow – one person at a time – to its highest potential from a place of soul and Higher Self, and not just from the ego, uncontrollable emotions or the narrower thinking mind. You will understand why I’ve chosen to live life this way….read on.
The birthed me (don’t ask how long ago) was someone who must have been born into a ever-testing atmosphere of perceived rejection. I was desperate for external assurance and acceptance yet terrified to be seen, I could only emerge so far before the facade crumbled and I was forced to retreat, a failure yet again.
You’d never know it now…despite being a gentle, compassionate and loving soul who (back then) when put on the spot ended up crashing in paralysis due to crippling fear of failure, unable to hurtle over the bar that others held in front of me. I knew by the time I started school that I was different…I was often teased and ostracized at the convent school for being “too sensitive”. I remember being chastised in front of the class by a teacher-nun at age six that I would never do well in the world (or in writing) because I used the word “nice” in a classroom composition. I grew up in a home environment that I can honestly say was turbulent and made me feel like I was living on eggshells – embarrassment and inferiority were the daily ongoing slaps to my self-worth because I was never perceived as good enough (and I didn’t turn out to be a boy). My soul was innately joyful, inclusive and non-competitive, willfully non-judgmental, but this world kept showing me I was safer in hiding, better off to avoid and not confront anyone or anything….but the need to incite growth and change, what I came into this world to face never veered from my inner sight.
I was dying inside, easily triggered and ready to erupt with anger and frustration, and drowning in weakness of misunderstanding, while I followed a prescribed life path (high pressure academic) that I knew others wanted for me and I chose even though I knew it was a tough path. And none of my life to that stage was truly me with the exception of my music - more on that in a moment - and my crazy need to learn more about all that fascinated me (the cosmos and universe mostly). I had suffered an emotional breakdown at age 21 after a never-ending miserable childhood of crying to cope with my emotional pain followed by a long period of being unable to eat or swallow anything because of the huge lump in my throat. Much to the disbelief and outright denial of my family members, they couldn’t see what was so wrong in my life, or the crucial roles they played. But my weight loss and depression revealed my truth that they didn’t want to admit to themselves.
The reality was, nobody outside of myself truly understood what I was grappling with, how much I had suppressed so I could show up on a daily basis, or why I was suffering so deeply because the whole time, I was functioning higher than average – on the outside. I had always been at the top of my class but leading up to my breakdown, I was failing my degree program. Because I could not communicate or express any of my struggle with self-loathing and internal failure, least of all to those who were involved and those who mattered to me. I settled for the fact that no one was listening anyway.
My soul’s purpose of revealing my inner truth began long before these traumas embedded in me, at age three when I just spontaneously started playing the piano by ear at a friend’s home and I was creating music that my parents and their friends recognized. And so it went from there, with the conscious and constructive part of my mind really absorbing that while I was versatile and could do many things, I knew that I was able to know the unknowable and that I had unusual gifts that others would not recognize as such. I saw visions of what was going to happen. They told me it was deja vu. You know how it goes. I knew I was different. As I experienced life,
I grew more and more certain that “different” by no means equals “inferior”.
“Different” by the way also includes ‘sensitive’, ‘rebelling for much needed breakout or change’, ”gifted’, ‘knowing’, ‘expanding’, and so much more.
When it came to formal music lessons, I played music mostly by ear, and I really struggled with the external pressure and demands of reading music notes up to speed at piano lessons and exams. After all, I had spent my whole life faking it to cope, and I simply reproduced what I could for success to get me through any given moment. I never felt l I had a creative bone in my body. I could reproduce very well music I heard, but I couldn’t create anything original – and I tried to. I had learned excellent technique and I knew that I could be skill-taught; I figured out creative ways to work around my sight-reading troubles. When I came back to music after my classical piano training up to Grade 10 in Royal Conservatory, I said to myself,
‘Another way now. No Rules, Just Right…Do what works for you!’
and that’s the key to every process underlying just about all the work I do. I make the music I love now and I perform for others, I write lyrics and I compose and arrange, can you imagine? I URGE you to not let anyone tell you you can not or should not do what you need to do for you. For that matter, don’t believe everything you think. Instead, give yourself the gift of a spiritually nourishing environment where you can learn to be yourself – perhaps for the very first time. A atmosphere or surrounding, an internally generated present space of being and mindset, a thought-process and feeling state that is rooted only in unconditional love, non-judgment and comparison, and certitude of unwavering wise support from someplace or something higher than us.
All along through my own work and over the course of life, I have grappled with the myriad blocks that each of us, as spiritual beings in this human experience, must face. Much of my life, I feared I was on the wrong path, that I might never rise to my potential. Now I can see that each step has guided me and brought me to the place where I can be myself. And just create what my soul came here to do, whether as workarounds to obstacles or just for creativity’s sake. Finally. Free flowing access to the kind of nourishment we all need, regularly, on a daily basis, ongoing 24-7-365. And in that atmosphere of healing and nurturing that I chose to give myself (we aren’t gonna get it from anyone else, really), and with loads of reflection time, I learned how to hone the processes and pathways to an enlightened state of being. It’s my intention to shorten that transformation curve for you and secure your aim at a new way of being with more clarity and in a much shorter time period.
Catching you up to today, I have been trained as a hard-scientist and I still rely strongly on those skills, I’m an educator by profession as well as soul nature, an accomplished musical artist, and a spiritual teacher. I love creating art and playing with all kinds of color, and I love photography too. I am the Creative Force behind all things Quintessence Studio. I am a published author of the novel Turning Points whose theme follows one young person’s essential need to “Know Yourself and Live Your Inspiration” so she could move through her grief and live again. I am the researcher, creator and developer of the spiritual healing modality Soul Tree Akashic Healing and the sound therapy NeuroSound.
More than 2 decades ago I began piecing together my now profession as a spiritual creative growth practitioner – something that technically never existed until about 2005. I know that I have walked, and at times crawled, crumbled and even soared on my personal path of exploration. That’s why I’m so hyper-focused on what makes you tick and what you love when it comes to anything to do with you. That’s my starting point to Know Yourself, firmly set on the foundation of spiritual nourishment.
Long gone is the version of me that could not communicate or express where I was at. Maybe back then wasn’t the time for me to communicate and express myself (maybe it was and I wasn’t ready), but I have changed, I have grown and I love who I am as much as I have learned to adore who I was then. I can talk about my life experiences without bursting into tears at the spark long before the memories would even alight. I am a vocal proponent (and getting louder) of getting to know yourself, without fear and in a spirit of exploration and joy and I am here to convince and encourage everyone and you in particular to express yourself because that’s why you’re here, and you must in order to truly live your inspiration and make your much needed difference to this world that is aching in wait for your unique gift to flow freely to it, right where it needs it.